afternoon thoughts

Good afternoon all! So, today I saw a few things I found remarkable....First, driving to meet my Mom I saw a gentleman stop in his tracks, step back and fully take in one of Baltimore's loveliest monuments down by M.I.C.A. I was kinda bummed I had a car behind me as I wanted to stop and take it all in a bit longer. Then, I spied a magical door on Druid Hill...I must have passed it a thousand times but today something was different. On the same street where we saw a blatant drug deal just the other day, I saw a young man smiling a giant smile after speaking to a young lady...it was touching. Lastly, I saw a grandfather, son and grandson leaving school together...hand in hand crossing MLK, it was beautiful.  It has been recommended to me more than once to keep a gratitude journal during this journey (really a practice I suppose would be helpful to anyone at any time, not just during trying times). So I am not going to kid myself and say I'm going to do this daily...I know I won't. I had every intention of jumping back into my morning thoughts full steam ahead.....then my meds got changed, I stopped sleeping, starting vomiting and forgot. I am getting to a place where my only demand on myself is to be honest with myself and my family and to do my best so that's what I'm doing here. I'm going to do my best to try and see beauty all around me. I want to try my best to stop and appreciate those beautiful things I see and hopefully I will be able to share them : )

I have been thinking recently about the chemo that lies ahead. I finally got a start date and we are doing this. I think the anticipation is worse than the treatment will be or rather, I am making it so. I am working on this to alleviate my stress surrounding what it will be like and damnit, when it happens, I am going to take it in stride. And if I don't, that's ok too. I know everyone is well intentioned when saying "keep fighting", "don't give up", etc. but if you know me, you know that is not an option. It just isn't.  I may get down just like everyone else, but giving up is not a choice for me. All that being said, as always; be kind, be well, be love, be forgiving, be thankful, be authentic, be happy and be peace. Namaste~ Mama F

"Luck is what you have left over after you give 100%."~Langston Coleman

"Learning to ignore things is one of the great paths to inner peace."~Robert J. Sawyer

"There are worse things than looking stupid. Sleeping through life is one of them."~Laura Preble

"More often than not, a hero's most epic battle is the one you never see; it's the battle that goes on within him or herself."~Kevin Smith

"Character is forged in the smallest of struggles. Then, when the big challenges come, we're ready."~Waiter Rant